Welcome to Daily Clarity.
Each day you will be greeted by a new message which is meant to inspire, motivate, and start your day in a positive way. This website is meant to guide you through the daily struggles of drug addiction, grief, loss, and stress.
As you begin, you will click the day from the drop down above, or the sidebar to the right. Do not click onto the next day until right before bed (only if you were successful on that day – more on this below). When you wake up, re-read your daily message. Keep it readily available at all times through the day. Refer to it as often as needed.
A short background about how this website came to be:
As a former drug user myself, and someone who suffers from anxiety, stress, and insomnia.. I quit many times. My father once told me – “Quitting is easy! I did it 20 times!”. It’s true, quitting is easy. What he meant by this is that it’s easy to quit for a few days or a few months at a time – but it’s the long term quitting, which is the hardest to achieve. I’ve relapsed numerous times, been to NA meetings, read self help books, surround myself with new friends, and done just about everything I can to stay sober. But it’s a constant daily struggle
In 2016 I found a 30-day self help guide on quitting marijuana – which at the time – was starting to become an issue in my life. My relationships, my work, my family, my confidence, and my motivation, were slowly slipping away (link to the Notre Dame University student well-being center). As you’ll read below, I moved onto prescription pills (Narcotics, pain medication, and sleeping pills) when things started to fall apart in my life. I first experienced Narcotics about 3 years ago when I got injured and was hospitalized in ICU for 3 days. I was sent home with morphine, and at the time was smoking weed consistently for numerous years. Needless to say, I got REALLY high when I mixed the two together. I didn’t necessarily like the feeling, but I was definitely fucked up and no longer felt any pain. I’ll continue this below.
As I was working through the 30 day self help website, I told myself I wouldn’t click onto the next day unless I made it through the current day without using. Without using meant completely sober. No pills, no weed, no cigarettes, no alcohol. For me, they were all linked.
I’ve read the first 6-8 days more than 15 times..
I would quit for 5 days, then hang out with my friends.. Back to day 1.
Then I’d quit for 3 days and something would happen at work where I was stressed out.. Back to day 1. My truck broke down.. and back to day 1. Going to a bar and drinking too much with friends.. back to day 1.
This repeated numerous times, until I finally hit rock bottom (see below).
Update: I relapsed in June for a few months. Today is Nov 14, 2018 – and I am 79 days sober.. again.
As of writing this (original post) – It is 9:40pm on day 26 – and I haven’t yet opened day 27. I’ll look at it right before bed, and then re-read it first thing in the morning. I am scared of day 31 (when the Notre Dame self help guide ends.. which is why I started this website, with the help of my sister – so that I can continue my streak past 30 days).
It’s a great way to start your day. It will motivate you to get to the next, it will give you a sense of accomplishment (when you wake up and see what day you’re on, you’ll feel good about your progress) and you will teach yourself the skill of self-discipline by not allowing yourself to click onto the next day unless you finished each day successfully. Every small win counts.
My rock bottom was Christmas Eve, 2017. Rather than get into what happened that night, I will tell you my story of what lead me to that point.
It started with the loss of a very close friend of mine, and long time client who had lost his battle with mental illness in September, leaving behind his wife and two young children. 2 weeks later, one of my best friends, manager of my business, head trainer/employee, and right hand man for the past 8 years had been in a serious motorcycle accident and was very close to losing his life. I was working 12-14 hour days to make sure the business continued to operate until we could hire new staff. About 3 weeks after his accident, my fiance left. And the final tipping point was my dog and best friend had been sick in the vet hospital for about 2-3 weeks at this point, and was at almost total kidney failure. It wasn’t looking like he was going to survive, but I told myself after the 3 losses I just suffered, I wasn’t going to lose him as well and racked up a $12,000 vet bill in about 4 weeks. It was a long fight, but he pulled through and is still with me today.
Christmas day I showed up at my parents house, after being awake for over 72 hours. I was coming down off a number of different drugs, and I was in a very dark place.
With the help and support of my family and a few close friends, as well as the above link – I made it to day 9, which then turned into day 10, then 11, then 12, and so on. As you saw above, I relapsed in June after making the wrong decision in thinking that I was “cured” and could live a “normal life” of partying, drinking, going to bars..etc. I was very wrong. I lost 38lbs in two months, my work was slipping again, my relationships were non-existent, and I was barely sleeping. At the end of August I decided I was done with feeling like shit, being lonely, sad, depressed, spending money on drugs, cigarettes..etc – and went cold turkey for the second time.
I’m telling you right now – You can do this. You are stronger than the cravings. You WILL get your confidence back. You WILL get your happiness back. And you WILL get your life back.
It will be hard. It will be exhausting. And it will be lonely.
But it will be the the best thing you ever do for yourself.
Whether it’s trying to get over a failed relationship, quitting an addiction (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes..etc), trying to lose weight, dealing with Post Traumatic Stress or injury, a financial loss, the loss of a loved one, or even just trying to make a simple change in your life. I hope these messages help you through each day and keep you looking forward to the next one.
Don’t let anyone talk down your situation or feelings. Do this for YOU. Because trust me – you will thank yourself that you stuck it out and made it through.
In health and happiness,